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ask the beaver

the beaver

got a question that's been itching you? forget dear abbey and the others, there's a new brain to pick. send your most troubling problems to the beaver: email him at, and put "hey beaver" in the subject line.

Hey Beaver,

Do you have any plans for political office?


hey j.p.

i did run for mayor in my neck of the woods, but i was black-balled. someone spread a vicious rumour about some sort of drinking problem. i wish every once in a while politics could be clean. and then i think about how boring they'd be and say 'screw it.'

Hey Beaver,

My mom keeps nagging at me because I'm 32 and still living at home. I keep telling her that I will move out as soon as I can find a real job. I do help with the bills as much as I can, but it's never enough. What should I do?

Confused in Vancouver

hey confused,

first thing you might want to do is move away from the coast since all that rain is really depressing. that would make you feel better, and get you out of your mom's hair at the same time. my question to you is what the hell is a real job these days?? you mean we're supposed to aim higher than mcdonald's? i guess i'll worry about that when my employment insurance runs out.

Hey Beaver,

Why do you type in small letters all the time?


hey bill

i've got two options. type with small-case or all capital letters. pick your poison. how the hell else am i supposed to drink and finger-peck at the same time? those shift keys annoyed me so i pulled them off my keyboard years ago.

the beaver has worked both in the forestry industry as well as in the high-tech business. currently he is deciding on what stock options will have him retiring in greece.